Organic Families

Whole Foods is the most amazing food experience I have had in my life: rows upon rows of massive, brightly coloured peppers, stacks upon stacks of rich, full-coloured cheeses, shelves eight feet high and groaning under the weight of every whole or organic food you can imagine, often in two or three varieties apiece.

The balsamic vinegar tasting station was a true gem: about ten open bottles alongside dipping bowls and a mug of crispy breadsticks, unsupervised so as to allow full enjoyment of the tasting session. I didn’t buy any, largely because the bottles on the shelf above were unpriced in that �well, if you have to ask, sir.. sort of way. One of them was sealed with wax, for crying out loud!

I can’t fault Whole Foods on its gourmet appeal. I have no doubt that if your budget is unlimited, and you are planning a fancy dinner party, you will get the finest of everything without needing to set foot in another store. My problem, in short, is this: Lust.

Whole Foods is not about organics, its about lust. Every inch of the store is a tangible version of what is known in the publishing industry as food pornography, i.e. where some guy comes in and paints a cherry with nail polish to sex it up for the camera. You don’t suspect anything when you pick up your beautifully fresh lettuce, but if you hang around for long enough you hear the faint hiss of the automated water spray misting the salads to keep their youthful appeal. I don’t know, maybe it’s just practicality, but there does seem to be an element of the plastic surgeon about it. There’s something a bit reassuring about the slight imperfections in organic food, and you won’t find them here.

The tone for my visit was set when I crossed the threshold, to be faced with what I can only describe as a female bouncer. I asked if I could take one or two pictures, and this was received with a firm, non-negotiable negative. I chatted to another member of staff later, who thought that this might be because of the high number of celebrities in store on that particular day, but I still feel that a warmer welcome and gentler rebuke may have made the atmosphere a little less tense. I was almost afraid to touch things in case I did something wrong.